Ellen Wrote: “I love my boyfriend but he yells at me. I’m afraid of him. What can I do?”
Response: Go to: Music 3 The Psychology of a Cycle of Violence. Click on the red links and read about what you are going through. Ellen, verbal abuse is abuse even if it isn’t physical. Listen to your emotions and decide if what you feel is really love and are these feelings healthy. The articles will help you find good advise on setting boundaries to help you decide how to handle your boyfriend and release yourself from blame.
Barbara Wrote: “My daughter hates me. Am I too protective? What can I do?”
Response: Go to: Articles 4 The Psychology of Depression and Books 2 The Psychology of Teenage Angst. Click on the red links and read about what you are going through. Barbara, teens are trying to establish themselves as individuals and are going through both physical and emotional changes. Try to remember when you were that age and how you felt. Your teen needs you so if you change your thinking and approach and find new ways to communicate in a healthy way you’ll find you can reconnect in ways that meet both your needs.
Dee Wrote: “ I hate school and have trouble asking for help. What can I do?”
Response: Go to: Music 4 The Psychology of Self-Esteem. Click on the red links and read about what you are going through. Dee, sometimes what you are doing in school doesn’t make sense yet but it will in time if you are patient. Asking for help is important and that’s what teachers and counselors are there for.
Beth Wrote: I’m pregnant. My parents won’t understand. What can I do?”
Response: Go to: Music 6 The Psychology of Relationship Choices and Books 5 Psychology of Attachment. Click on the red links and read about what you are going through. Beth, we know this is a hard time for you. Go to a clinic or to your family doctor and talk about your options. You will have to decide what to do next and getting professional advice is the best policy. After you decide what you want to do approach your parents. Understand that because it’s a surprise to them expect some mixed responses but telling them takes a lot of the pressure off an already difficult situation. If you reach out you may get a supportive response in time or you may be judged but know that people just like you make mistakes all the time. Give them an opportunity to come around and you may be surprised in the end
Sue Wrote: “My parents don’t understand me. What’s wrong with me?”
Response: Go to: Books 2 The Psychology of Teenage Angst and Books 3 Psychology of Antisocial Disorder. Click on the red links and read about what you are going through. Sue, there is nothing wrong with you. Being a teen is a difficult time because everything is changing both physically and emotionally. Sometimes parents forget that they were teens once so try talking to them in different ways until you find the best words and approach that they can relate to. Then give them the chance to come around. You may find a new best friend lives in the same house as you do.
Bradley Wrote: “I’m gay. How can I tell my parents?”
Response: Go to: Articles 3 The Psychology of Rejection. Click on the red links and read about what you are going through. Bradley, self-identity is a key to high self-esteem which means loving yourself. Discovering who you are and owning it allows you to grow as a person. There is nothing wrong with your choices as long as they're healthy ones. Guess what? People will judge you throughout your entire life so get used to it. Rehearse how you will tell your parents and then just do it. Their response may not be what you want at first but once you face it and they accept you their first response is temporary. Give them an opportunity to grow and understand you and themselves at the same time. Remember your parents aren’t perfect and if you let them they can change too.
Jewel Wrote: “Nobody believes me. What can I do?”
Response: Go to: Music 3 The Psychology of a Cycle of Violence. Click on the red links and read about what you are going through. Jewel, when someone abuses you the hardest part is telling somebody about it because of the shame and guilt involved but silence is not the answer. A vicious cycle can emerge if this is not addressed even if it’s the first time. Abusers can be people you trust and thought you knew but once this happens the trust is gone. Understand it’s not your fault and not your responsibility to change them. There is nothing wrong with asking for help so take the steps to talk to someone you really trust which could include a professional therapist and be sure to report it immediately.
You are at an age that brings changes and sometimes confusion as to what your life is about and who you will become. It’s natural to feel that way so don’t be too hard on yourself. Take a risk and have some trust in yourself and others and you’ll find it's not so bad after all. Understanding puts you on the road to success.
Karla Wrote: “I just don’t feel like life is worth living anymore. What can I do?”
Response: Go to: Movies 3 The Psychology of Suicide and Article 4 The Psychology of Depression. Click on the red links and read about what you are going through. Karla, everyone has highs and lows in life. Sometimes problems seem to be overwhelming and depression can cloud everything. When you think it’s not worth it anymore and your thinking goes to planning your escape through suicide its time to think about who cares about you and who needs you. Instead of planning to end your life begin with a plan to change it. There is no shame in asking for help. Reach out and you’ll find someone who cares, who will listen to you like a family member, friends, a fellow teen at a suicide hot line, or a professional therapist who will help you will find yourself again.
Juan Wrote: “My parents don’t want me. What can I do?”
Response: Go to: Articles 3 The Psychology of Rejection and Books 2 The Psychology of Teenage Angst and Books 3 Psychology of Antisocial Personality Disorder. Click on the red links and read about what you are going through. Juan, being ignored hurts. Maybe if you reach out to your parents you’ll see you may be misinterpreting their behavior toward you. Remember they are people too with the same ups and downs and worries about their lives too. Figure out how to approach them in a new positive way so you can be on the same page as a family.