The Psychology of Domestic Violence

The lyrics speaks about the cycle of emotional and physical abuse in the name of love. With two hands wrapped around her neck love takes her breath away. You hug the wall and ask yourself if that's all or is there much, much more? 

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn But that's alright because I like the way it hurts Just gonna stand there and hear me cry But that's alright because I love the way you lie I love the way you lie I love the way you lie Now I know we said things, did things that we didn't mean And we fall back into the same patterns, same routine But your temper's just as bad as mine is You're the same as me But when it comes to love you're just as blinded Baby, please come back It wasn't you, baby it was me Maybe our relationship isn't as crazy as it seems Maybe that's what happens when a tornado meets a volcano All I know is I love you too much to walk away though Come inside, pick up your bags off the sidewalk Don't you hear sincerity in my voice when I talk Told you this is my fault Look me in the eyeball Next time I'm pissed, I'll lay my fist at the drywall Next time? There will be no next time! I apologize even though I know its lies I'm tired of the games I just want her back I know I'm a liar If she ever tries to fucking leave again I'm a tie her to the bed and set this house on fire I'm just gonna Just gonna stand there and watch me burn But that's alright because I like the way it hurts Just gonna stand there and hear me cry But that's alright because I love the way you lie I love the way you lie I love the way you lie...
Eminem / Rhianna

Love The Way You Lie

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn But that's alright because I like the way it hurts Just gonna stand there and hear me cry But that's alright because I love the way you lie I love the way you lie I can't tell you what it really is I can only tell you what it feels like And right now it's a steel knife in my windpipe I can't breathe but I still fight while I can fight As long as the wrong feels right it's like I'm in flight High off a love, drunk from my hate, It's like I'm huffing paint and I love it the more I suffer, I suffocate And right before I'm about to drown, she resuscitates me She fucking hates me and I love it. Wait! Where you going? "I'm leaving you!" No you ain't. Come back we're running right back. Here we go again It's so insane cause when it's going good, it's going great I'm Superman with the wind at his back, she's Lois Lane But when it's bad it's awful, I feel so ashamed I snapped Who's that dude? "I don't even know his name." I laid hands on her, I'll never stoop so low again I guess I don't know my own strength Just gonna stand there and watch me burn But that's alright because I like the way it hurts Just gonna stand there and hear me cry But that's alright because I love the way you lie I love the way you lie I love the way you lie You ever love somebody so much you can barely breathe when you're with 'em You meet and neither one of you even know what hit 'em Got that warm fuzzy feeling Yeah, them chills you used to get 'em Now you're getting fucking sick of looking at 'em You swore you'd never hit 'em; never do nothing to hurt 'em Now you're in each other's face spewing venom in your words when you spit them You push, pull each other's hair, scratch, claw, bit 'em Throw 'em down, pin 'em So lost in the moments when you're in them It's the rage that took over it controls you both So they say you're best to go your separate ways Guess that they don't know you 'cause today that was yesterday Yesterday is over, it's a different day Sound like broken records playing over but you promised her Next time you show restraint You don't get another chance Life is no Nintendo game But you lied again Now you get to watch her leave out the window Guess that's why they call it window "pain".

“Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it

is impossible to be silent.”

- Victor Hugo, Writer







Boys grow up with a sense of male entitlement,

a self-concept which if not realized by the

woman they are with creates shame and anger.


If a relationship partner challenges this self-concept it can be perceived as an insult or threat triggering their critical inner voice which shouts, “She’s controlling you! Don’t let her act like you’re weak.” If she talks back the thought is, “She's making fun of you” , and you ask, “Who does she think she is?”


This destructive thought process tells men negative things about themselves and their partners which triggers a negative response.


The more a person listens to these thoughts the need to retaliate becomes commonplace and can lead to a cycle of violence.


A back-and-forth pattern emerges as a fantasy bond, validating the couple as extensions of themselves and not as the other person they’re hurting. This justifies their behavior, which is a defense mechanism for feeling guilt.


The cycle of domestic violence emerges in phases: (1) Tension. (2) Actual violence. (3) The Honeymoon.  I love you. I hate you. I'm sorry. I love you. I hate you. I'm sorry. Around and

around it goes and where and when it stops nobody knows. It's literally a vicious cycle.


MUSIC

In the end it's all about power and control. The use of intimidation, emotional abuse, isolation, minimizing, denying blame, using children as leverage, exacting male privilege, economic abuse, coercion and threats all appear to be

aspects of love.


When emotions are in total chaos and love and hate collide, the first thing the victim wants to do

is try to fix the abuser. 


It's important to separate emotions from logic and see that the abuser brought baggage into the relationship that has nothing to do with you.


Separate the feelings and fix yourself if there are reasons for the unhealthy attraction to this type of man. Also understand that not you or anyone else can fix an abuser until they decide they need help on their own. This revelations brings change.